If you can, you must: seven lessons I learned from one incredible story

Some books entertain you. Some books break your heart. And then there are the rare few that completely shift the way you see the world. Emma Carey’s The Girl Who Fell From the Sky is one of those books.

Emma was just twenty years old when a skydiving accident changed everything. She survived a fall that should have killed her, but the impact left her paralysed from the waist down. Within seconds, her entire future was upended.

Instead of spending the summer backpacking across Europe with her best friend, she found herself in a spinal ward, learning how to use a catheter and adjusting to life in a wheelchair. She spent more than four months in hospital, pushing through recovery and trying to make sense of a body that no longer felt like her own.

What struck her most wasn’t only the pain or the loss, but the speed at which life flipped. One moment she should have been sipping Aperol Spritz in Paris, the next she was relearning how to look after herself. How to shower, how to climb in and out of bed, how to face a future she never saw coming.

Here are seven lessons from Emma Carey that will shift the way you see life:

1. Appreciation often comes too late

The morning of the skydiving accident, Emma had planned to go for a run. She was in one of the most stunning spots in Switzerland, a place that practically begged for an early morning jog. But when her alarm went off, she stayed in bed a little longer, thinking she could skip it just this once. Hours later, she was paralysed. She later admitted she felt a sharp pang of regret for not going, knowing it was the last time she would ever lace up her shoes and feel the world moving under her feet.

People always say, “appreciate what you’ve got while you still have it,” but the truth is, you often don’t realise how much something truly means until it’s gone.

The lesson is simple but powerful: don’t wait for a tragedy to remind you what matters. Savour the small freedoms, the everyday joys, and the moments that make life feel alive while you still can. You get to wake up before work and go for a run? Amazing. You get to pee without a catheter? Incredible. You get to feel the grass between your toes? Life-changing. Because the truth is, there’s so many people who can’t.

2. Nothing is permanent

It’s one of life’s undeniable truths: absolutely nothing lasts forever. The seasons change, relationships evolve, opportunities come and go, and even our struggles eventually fade.

That means two things. First, pain won’t last forever. So hold on, breathe, and trust that it will pass. And second, joy doesn’t last forever either. So when life gives you a moment of happiness, treasure it, savour it, and remember it.

Life is a constant flow, a series of comings and goings. Everything is temporary, and that’s what makes every moment, every feeling, and every connection both fragile and precious.

3. Gratitude is EVERYTHING. Happiness is a mindset

Emma describes one of the happiest moments of her life as coming after her accident. And it was something she’d done a million times before. She says it was a moment so full of joy, her heart felt like it could burst. And it was… brushing her teeth. The first time she was able to do it independently since her accident. It wasn’t a job promotion or some huge life milestone, it was something ordinary that had suddenly become extraordinary.

Before her injury, Emma admits she had no idea a whole world of spinal cord patients existed. In that hospital, she actually had the most mobility out of anyone. Many patients had lost movement in their legs, arms and hands. One man could barely move his head.

We spend so much of our lives chasing the next achievement, forever measuring ourselves against others, and often feeling dissatisfied. But sometimes, happiness comes from simply looking at what you do have. For some, getting out of bed is a daily struggle. For others, it’s a freedom they once took for granted and would give anything to have again.

4. Identity isn't tied to your physical abilities

Put simply: our bodies will change, decline, and fail over time. That’s the truth of being human. But the essence of who we are… our spirit, our values, our curiosity, doesn’t fade with our bodies. A dancer doesn’t stop being graceful just because they can’t dance anymore. A singer doesn’t stop being soulful just because they can’t sing. And you wouldn’t stop being you if you became paralysed.

Emma lost the use of the lower half of her body, but she didn’t lose her kindness, her spark, or her love for life. In fact, after the accident, she gained something else: a deeper appreciation for the beauty of the world and the richness of everyday moments. She shares in her autobiography that she is actually happier now than she was before the accident. She lost part of her physical ability, but she ended up gaining a whole lot more, she recounts. And a lot of it came down to appreciation, gratitude and her mindframe shifting after the accident.

5. Vulnerability is your superpower

We often mistake vulnerability for weakness, but it’s actually a superpower. To be vulnerable is to be honest, and honesty draws people in. Being human means being raw, unpolished, and real. Pretending you’re okay is easy; admitting you’re not takes courage.

For Emma, learning to live with a catheter was one of the hardest challenges she ever faced. For months, she kept it a secret, ashamed and embarrassed. She started avoiding the world, hiding instead of confronting her fear.

Then she made a choice: she stopped hiding. Her body’s limitations were not her fault, and she refused to let shame control her life. She realised the only opinion that truly mattered was her own. If she could accept herself, and even find strength in her vulnerability, then the judgments of others didn’t matter.

Vulnerability isn’t just powerful in extreme situations, it’s respected in everyday life too. Think about it: we admire public figures who openly share their struggles with anxiety and mental health, or leaders who admit they don’t have all the answers. Even in our personal lives, the friends who confess their fears or insecurities often earn our deepest trust and respect. Being honest about what scares or challenges us doesn’t make us weak, it makes us human. It draws people in, builds connection, and often inspires more respect than perfection ever could.

This can be described through the analogy of a bridge. When you show your true, unpolished self (your fears, insecurities, or struggles), you’re extending a plank across the gap between you and someone else. The act invites them to step onto the bridge, to meet you halfway. Without that bridge, people only ever see a wall, but with it, real connection becomes possible.

6. Joy is found in the smallest, most ordinary things

For Emma, after her accident, joy came in the tiniest, most everyday moments. It was having her hair washed for the first time, or brushing her teeth properly again. But it wasn’t just about physical independence. Suddenly, the world itself seemed breathtaking. Sunlight through the trees, the colours of a sunset, the way rain glimmers on the pavement after a storm… she noticed it all, things she had taken for granted before.

Every day after her accident felt like an unexpected gift, a bonus she might never have received, and she learned that happiness often hides in the ordinary, waiting for you to open your eyes. It opened her to a beautiful, new way of seeing the world. Suddenly, life didn’t feel mundane. It became a gift she had been given, something to be noticed, cherished, and savoured in every small moment. Because, quite literally, she almost had it taken away.

7. If you can, you must

Emma shares that after surviving the accident, people often tell her, 'You’re so lucky' for being able to walk again after her paralysis. But she can’t help thinking: so are you. You’re lucky to walk, too. Emma still has no feeling in her lower body. She can’t feel the grass between her toes, or the earth moving under her feet. But despite doctors telling her she’d never walk again, she regained some mobility through rehabilitation and can now walk again with the assistance of a crutch.

And do you know what she did next? She climbed a damn mountain.

Because if you can, you must.

If your legs work, use them. If your voice can be heard, speak. If your heart can love, let it. Life doesn’t wait, and neither should you.

A x

P.s Emmas book The Girl Who Fell from the Sky can be found on Amazon, and I cannot recommend it enough.